From the hilarious British satirical site The Daily Mash:
(Thanks to Roast hound Adam Parker)
OUTRAGE OVER PLANS TO BUILD LIBRARY NEXT TO SARAH PALIN
19-08-10
PLANS to build a state-of-the-art library next to Republican catastrophe Sarah Palin are causing outrage across mainstream America.
Almost 40% of Americans still support the idea of books
Campaigners have described the project as insensitive and a deliberate act of provocation by people with brains.
The issue is forming a dividing line in advance of November's mid-term congressional elections with candidates being forced to declare whether they have ever been to a library or spoken to someone who has books in their home.
Meanwhile President Obama has caused unease within his own Democratic party by endorsing the library and claiming that not everyone who reads books is responsible for calling Mrs Palin a fuckwit nutjob nightmare of a human being.
But Bill McKay, a leading member of the right-wing Teapot movement, said: "Sarah Palin is a hallowed place for Americans who can't read.
"How is she going to feel knowing that every day there are people going inside a building to find things out for themselves and have thoughts, right in the very shadow of her amazing nipples."
He added: "Our founding fathers intended for every building in this country to be a church containing one book, written by Jesus, that would be read out in a strange voice by an orange man in a shiny suit who would also tell you who you were allowed to kill.
"Building a library next to Mrs Palin is like Pearl Harbour. Or 9/11."
And Wayne Hayes, a pig masseur from Coontree, Virginia, said: "I is so angry right now.
"It's like something is on fire right in the middle of my head. Like I've eaten a real hot chilli, but it's gone up my nose tubes rather than down my ass tubes."
He added: "Would these library lovers allow me to set up a stall next to the Smithsonian Museum and start selling DVDs of bible cartoons as long as it was in accordance with local regulations?
"Oh they would? I see. So is that why they're better than me?"
Was dining in the West Village and thought of this acappella tribute to that unique and iconic pulse point of NYC, by the recently departed Fug and urban poet Tuli Kupferberg.
Think it's time folks like us had some fun, so 'Toid and family are aheadin' fer the Catskills. It ain't Montana, but behold the soon-to-be-ours palace in the pines, in the peaceful and bucolic hamlet of Olivebridge, NY:
"Climate change is occurring, is caused largely by human activities, and poses significant risks for — and in many cases is already affecting — a broad range of human and natural systems," the report concludes.
The compelling case that climate change is occurring and is caused in large part by human activities is based on a strong, credible body of evidence, saysAdvancing the Science of Climate Change, one of the new reports
Substantially reducing greenhouse gas emissions will require prompt and sustained efforts to promote major technological and behavioral changes, says Limiting the Magnitude of Future Climate Change, another of the new reports.
Reducing vulnerabilities to impacts of climate change that the nation cannot, or does not, avoid is a highly desirable strategy to manage and minimize the risks, says the third report, Adapting to the Impacts of Climate Change. Some impacts – such as rising sea levels, disappearing sea ice, and the frequency and intensity of some extreme weather events like heavy precipitation and heat waves – are already being observed across the country.
In a sharp change from its cautious approach in the past, the National Academy of Sciences on Wednesday called for taxes on carbon emissions, a cap-and-trade program for such emissions or some other strong action to curb runaway global warming.
..."climate change is occurring, the Earth is warming ... concentrations of carbon dioxide are increasing, and there are very clear fingerprints that link [those effects] to humans"...
"The most dramatic possible threat, by 2050, is a sea level rise in the Gulf Coast of 2 to 4 feet., plus the prospect of more intense coastal storms," he said. "We may need to consider contingency plans … such as movement of infrastructure and settlements away from vulnerable areas." Preserving water supply in the Southwest, which will inevitably become more arid, will also be crucial, he added.
The report1, from the US National Research Council (NRC), sets out the consequences — from streamflow and wildfires to crop productivity and sea level rise — of different greenhouse-gas emissions scenarios. It also concludes that once the global average temperature warms beyond a certain point, Earth and future generations will be stuck with significant impacts for centuries or millennia.
...the report shows that each 1 °C of warming will reduce rain in the southwest of North America, the Mediterranean and southern Africa by 5–10%; cut yields of some crops, including maize (corn) and wheat, by 5–15%; and increase the area burned by wildfires in the western United States by 200–400%.
Whatever shall we tell the children?
Comix artists like Tom Toles do a better job of reporting than our slothful and corrupt old mainstream media (the link to Tom's blog takes you to one of the worst):
And the American public and its elected representatives? Here's a video metaphor for our consciousness of this ominous and threatening situation:
Nils Nichols sez: Watch this video, then visit Al Franken and sign his petition now!
PETITION: STAND WITH ME TO SAVE NET NEUTRALITY AND STOP THE CORPORATE TAKEOVER OF OUR MEDIA The Comcast-NBC merger is the first domino. If it falls, the rest will soon follow. If no one stops them, how long do you think it will take before 4 or 5 megacorporations effectively control the flow of information in America not only on television, but online? How long do you think it will take before the Fox News website loads 5 times faster than DailyKos? It's almost too late to stop this from happening, but not quite. The government can stop them… but first the government has to be MADE to act. Net Neutrality is THE First Amendment issue of our time. If you want to protect the free flow of information in the country and all that depends on it, you have to help me fight this. Add your voice to 26683 others in support of Net Neutrality by signing my petition:
The way Lawrence tells it, Monday’s robbery of a Chase Bank was just a desperate ploy to get back behind bars, where he believes he will receive better medical care than he has been able to obtain on his own.
Holle said she can see the attraction of prison health care for some.
“You’ve got a place to live and ... a prison system providing nursing facility-type care,” she said. “And you live in a community.”
The incredible bounty of fresh, luscious, drool-inducing summer produce is upon us!
Here in the Northeast USofA, recent years have seen a vast proliferation of small farms sprouting seemingly full grown from the soil.
This is not to minimize the back-breaking, time consuming work of farming, but merely to point out that if you go to any local weekend farmers market, you are likely to find an abundance and variety of fruits, vegetables, herbs, tubers, breads, cheeses, honey, jams, etc, that will give you whiplash trying to take in the cornucopia of earthly delights!
Rule #1:Buy as much fresh, local produce and naturally raised meat as you can prepare and stuff into the eager mouths of your family.
If at all possible, buy at a farmers market from family farmers. Besides the culinary ecstasy you experience, you will also be helping to insure responsible stewardship of the soil and bypassing the industrial petro-farms who poison the land and water with a plague of chemicals, abuse their animals and eagerly kill you and your families with carcinogens, hormone disrupters and who knows what other synthetic abominations.
Rule #2: Eat 'em raw or choose recipes that are quick and easy to prepare, with minimal non-farm ingredients, to enhance nutritional value and allow the gorgeous flavors of freshness to dominate. I often look for ideas at searchable recipe websites such as Epicurious and FoodieView. Chow is best known for their restaurant comment boards, but their recipe section has some great stuff.
If you want to dig deeper into the small farm food movement and can stomach reading about the homicidal depredations of large-scale industrial agriculture, The Cornucopia Institute , Slow Food USA and La Vida Locavore are all excellent resource sites. You will also find shopping advice and some recipes at these communities.
Now, forthwith, here is a sampling of my favorite summer recipes:
SUMMER CORN CHOWDER WITH BACON
Makes 6 servings
6 slices bacon, chopped (Okay, if you must, use turkey bacon or fakin' bacon)
6 cups fresh corn kernels(cut from 6 to 8 ears)
1 1/2 cups chopped fresh fennel bulb
1 cup diced yellow zucchini or crookneck squash (about 2)
1 cup 1/2-inch cubes peeled russet potatoes
3 cups (or more) low-salt chicken or vegetable broth
1/2 cup heavy cream (optional- but really nice in here)
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives, basil, parsley, scallions or a combination
2 bunches farm fresh greens, alone or in any combination, such as chard, collards, kale of any color ( I love red Russian), turnip or beet greens, broccoli rabe, young poke salad, or just about anything green and leafy.
2 or 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 shallot or small onion, diced
1 large clove peeled and thinly sliced garlic
1 small tomato or plum tomato, diced
1 or 2 tablespoons cider vinegar
Wash greens thoroughly in cold water.
Drain and wash again to remove grit, sand and mud.
Cut away thick part of stalks. If using chard, keep thinner parts of stalks and slice thin across the stems.
Stack greens and slice once from tip to bottom, then slice across leaves into 1/4" ribbons.
Put oil in a large pot and add onion or shallot, garlic, and sliced chard stems if using.
Turn heat to medium-low and cook, stirring occasionally, until onion softens. If garlic starts to brown, lower heat.
Add diced tomato and a little salt, stir, cover pot and simmer for 3 or 4 minutes.
Add greens a couple of handfuls at a time, stirring each batch until wilted before adding more.
When all greens are in the pot, add a little more salt, stir well, cover pot and simmer for 10-20 minutes, or until greens are tender. Uncover pot, add cider vinegar, stir well, remove from heat and serve hot.
This stuff tastes even better with a little crumbled bacon on top.
I got plenty more where these come from. Leave your fave recipes in Comments below the post.
Feh! Climate change? Global warming? I have no use for the environment!
If I want the real down-low on this supposed catastrophe, I'll listen to Jumpin' Jim Inhofe, cabana boy for the fossil fuel industry:
In the 2002 election cycle oil and gas companies contributed more money to Inhofe's campaign than any other congressman except Texas senator John Cornyn. The contributions Inhofe has received from the energy and natural resource sector since taking office have exceeded one million dollars.
This courageous slayer of environmental extremism infamously mouth-farted that "Global warming is the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people."
He alsoclaimed that people who were concerned about global warming were like Nazis: "It kind of reminds . . . I could use the Third Reich, the big lie.”
Well I don't see how all these thermometers could be mendacious prevaricators. According to Jeff Masters at the linked site:
Fourteen extreme national high temperature records have been set in 2010
Finland recorded its hottest temperature on July 29, 2010, when the mercury hit 99°F (37.2°C) at Joensuu.
Qatar had its hottest temperature in history on July 14, 2010, when the mercury hit 50.4°C (122.7°F) at Doha Airport.
Russiahad its hottest temperature in history on July 11, when the mercury rose to 44.0°C (111.2°F) in Yashkul, Kalmykia Republic. The remarkable heat in Russia this year has not been limited just to the European portion of the country--the Asian portion of Russia also recorded its hottest temperature in history this year, a 42.3°C (108.1°F) reading at Belogorsk.
Sudan recorded its hottest temperature in its history on June 25 when the mercury rose to 49.6°C (121.3°F) at Dongola.
Niger tied its record for hottest day in history on June 22, 2010, when the temperature reached 47.1°C (116.8°F) at Bilma. That record stood for just one day, as Bilma broke the record again on June 23, when the mercury topped out at 48.2°C (118.8°F).
Saudi Arabia had its hottest temperature ever on June 22, 2010, with a reading of 52.0°C (125.6°F) in Jeddah.
Chad had its hottest day in history on June 22, 2010, when the temperature reached 47.6°C (117.7°F) at Faya.
Kuwait recorded its hottest temperature in history on June 15 in Abdaly, according to the Kuwait Met office. The mercury hit 52.6°C (126.7°F).
Iraq had its hottest day in history on June 14, 2010, when the mercury hit 52.0°C (125.6°F) in Basra.
Pakistan had its hottest temperature in history on May 26, when the mercury hit an astonishing 53.5°C (128.3°F) at the town of MohenjuDaro. Not only is the 128.3°F reading the hottest temperature ever recorded in Pakistan, it is the hottest reliably measured temperature ever recorded on the continent of Asia.
Myanmar (Burma) had its hottest temperature in its recorded history on May 12, when the mercury hit 47°C (116.6°F) in Myinmu, the hottest temperature in Southeast Asia history.
Ascention Island (St. Helena, a U.K. Territory) had its hottest temperature in history on March 25, 2010, when the mercury hit 34.9°C (94.8°C) at Georgetown.
The Solomon Islands had their hottest temperature in history on February 1, 2010, when the mercury hit 36.1°C (97°F) at Lata Nendo (Ndeni).
Colombia had its hottest temperature in history on January 24, 2010, when Puerto Salgar hit 42.3°C (108°F).
"Global warming is undeniable," and it's happening fast, a new U.S. government report says. An in-depth analysis of ten climate indicators all point to a marked warming over the past three decades, with the most recent decade being the hottest on record, according to the latest of the U.S. National Atmospheric and Oceanic Administration's annual "State of the Climate" reports, which was released Wednesday.
And this could not possibly possess the barest shred of truth:
Scientists at the NASA Goddard Institute for Space Studies reported recently that the average global temperature was higher over the past 12 months than during any other 12-month period in history.
Any bets on who won the latest round in the epic fight of Fact vs Fiction?
Conceding that they can't find enough votes for the legislation, Senate Democrats on Thursday abandoned efforts to put together a comprehensive energy bill that would seek to curb greenhouse gas emissions, delivering a potentially fatal blow to a proposal the party has long touted and President Obama campaigned on.
Somehow I don't think the kids will accept our apologies.
