This just in from Roaster Will Lashley, whose pursuit of truth in service to The King is without peer:
From the "news report" linked above:
According to Dr. Nick, the autopsy revealed that Presley’s colon was 5 to 6 inches in diameter (whereas the normal width is 2 to 3 inches) and instead of being the standard 4 to 5 feet long, his colon was 8 to 9 feet in length.
“The constipation upset him quite a bit because Elvis thought that he could handle almost anything, he thought he was really a man’s man and he wasn’t going to let something like this … he thought that this was a sign of weakness and he wasn’t going to be weak,” Nichopoulos said. “And it’s not the kind of thing you table talk. Back in the ‘60s and ‘70s you didn’t talk about constipation much, you didn’t hear people complaining about it, or saying what they did or how much trouble they had with it.”
“He would get embarrassed, he’d have accidents onstage. He’d have to change clothes and come back because of the way we were trying to treat his constipation”...
“Usually you pass it all in two or three days, but at the autopsy we found stool in his colon which had been there for four or five months because of the poor motility of the bowel.”
Maybe that's what E meant by a Hunka Hunka Burnin' Love....
5 comments:
We all know the King passed away seated on his throne, now we know why.
There's a lesson here, kids:
Drink lots of liquids and stay away from the amphetamines if you're going to try to exist on Aunt Minnie's deep fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches.
Contrary to received opinion, we have never had a mishap of this sort in the Johnnie Blues. First of all, the liquid intake insures colonic irrigation, supplemented, of course, by ample porcine lubricants.
- Toastmaster Willie Wee
Wayull-
I done drunk jugs fulla liquids an what all, but I jes cain't git reglar without th' aid of muh sewer snake.
Maybe if I leave the fatback off the sammich?
No, fatback is not the problem. You are probably fillin' up on tater tots and corn on the cob, and becoming "corn bound". Take you corn from the jar or not at all (corn dogs, however, are just fine).
Don't EVER use the sewer snake without a supervisor present.
Mebbe I might could use a corn dog 'stead of the snake, seein' how it's pre-greased!
WTF is "corn bound"?! Is that another Southern malady like hookworms or pellagra?
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